It’s been quite sometime since you last heard from me, it’s actually almost been one whole year. Where does time go? I stopped blogging my journey because I thought, if I stopped, I could simply forget the cancer days. I just wanted to move on. That is so much easier said then done.
October may be just another month to you, but to me its filled with a lot of pain. Not only is it Breast Cancer Awareness month, it’s also the month I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago. Yes, that’s right, this month is 2 years since I found out the worst news of my life, “You Have Cancer”. I still think of that day often, and to be honest, it still hurts. It hurts really bad. Knowing what I had to go through and what I continue to go through is hard. I live in a constant fear that it may return. It causes so much anxiety. The return of cancer scares the hell out of me.
So what have I been up to since you last heard from me since the end of 2016? Well for one, I returned to work in January, and since then I have been full time, and even got a promotion in April. I also got married to the man of my dreams at the end of June, and went on an awesome honey moon to Puerto Rico. Now currently, I am taking a class to get my CPC certification with the hopes of one day working from home. I am setting goals, and finally able to reach them. So many great things have happened in 2017.
I am so thankful to get this far, and to be in remission. But to be honest, being in remission is not easy. To me, being in remission is almost harder then actually having cancer. People expect you to just move on and it’s just not that easy. I live in a constant fear that the cancer may return. Being young when I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer, increases my chances even more of it returning. I have learned that it’s okay to be scared, and it’s okay to have fears. But how do I deal with these fears? I simply put my trust in God. I can’t predict what my future holds, only God can. I can only trust that he will heal me and whatever I may go through, I will overcome.
The past month, I have been going back and forth on this decision of changing my oncologist. For one, I didn’t feel like I was a patient to her, I felt more like a number. And another concern was the distance. I didn’t like traveling an hour away, it’s such a hassle. So I decided to transfer to the Loyola near me, which is only 10 minutes from my work. I get to meet my new oncologist this month. I am anxious, but excited to get a second opinion on my treatment plan. I will try to keep updating the blog more for those who read it!
Until then Love one another, help those to rise to higher levels.